When Days Don't Feel Special

Dec 2, 2015 Davao City, Davao del Sur, Philippines

When it don't at all.


I woke up one day feeling nauseous. There were also pains that I felt on my shoulders, as if I carried the whole world in my dreams. My whole body was fucking sore. I decided to not go to my day job, not inform anyone I was sick, and just went to sleep and rest. I felt the right to do so and I felt the need to just not think about anything at all.

When I woke up, it was 5PM. I sent a text to our manager, telling her I was sick. Then went off to eat at the mall nearby my apartment, and after I went back and read the remaining pages of Miranda July's First Bad Man. I had bought the book at Amsterdam and I haven't finished it since that long, long plane ride to China. After closing the book, I decided to do a little laundry. Then took a bath, brushed my teeth, said hi to my best friend, and then went to have dinner and milk tea at Alleycat.

I quietly sat in the corner, my friends who owned the tea shop weren't there yet. I sat still and silent. I logged in to my email, Skype, and Facebook — people were looking for me. I received three exclamation points from my boss and in return I messaged a calm, sincere apology.

I decided I wanted beer. I went to Sales and sat next to a boy who gave me glasses of beer for free. We went home, sitting next to each other in the cab he hailed after eating what was supposed to be an early break fast. I had to be dropped off back to my apartment.

Opening the door of my lonely, yellow temporary home, I saw Hubert (my best friend's cat) sleeping peacefully where my pillows are. I did not want to wake him up, but I had to because I wanted to sleep as well. By the time I lied down, Hubert was next to me licking his paws and yawning. I wonder where my cat sleeps, he doesn't sleep in the room anymore.

I got back up and lit a cigarette. I found my copy of Miranda July's compilation of short stories, No One Belongs Here More Than You, I wanted to read one short story until I found a film strip that had a photo of me and an old love. I decided to just close the book and sleep.


Here are some photographs of days that are special

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