Read My Words

Aug 11, 2015

They are lonely for you only.

(Collage by Aidx Paredes; Photos from Melona Mascarinas. L - R: Aidx, Iya, and Darcy.)

It's not always that I get the chance to read my poetry to one of the country's spoken-word rockstars, so when I was asked to read a few poems at Silingan Artspace after Kooky Tuason's workshop, I definitely said yes.

There was a gathering of young writers and poets last Saturday night at Silingan Artspace. It was more intimate than the Litorgy series. We were in a circle, listening to each other's words. I was set to read first, then followed by Darcy, then Iya, Anne Mendoza, and finally Kooky Tuason.

What happened after the event was a blur, well at least to me.

A N Y W A Y ,

I will be performing on August 29 and 30 for LI7ORGY: SEVEN SEERS.

Here are the poems I read that night, I hope you like them:


Hindi ko alam kung papaano guguluhin ang aking buhok sapagkat sanay na akong guluhin mo ito
Sanay na akong maramdaman ang mga kamay mo sa aking ulo
Ang palad mo sa aking pisngi
Ang labi mo sa aking mga labi
Habang ginugulo mo ang buhok kong tatlong oras kong pinaghirapan ayusin kasi alam kong magkikita tayo
Magkikita tayo sa dilim kung saan mo tinatago ang mga sikreto mong kasali ako
Sa mga tinatago mo sa mundo
Sapagkat di mo pa kayang sabihin ang totoo
Totoo na ayaw ko na ang nangyayari sa ating pagtago sapagkat akoy napapagod nang
Tanggapin na ang mga kamay mo na patuloy paring naghahari sa mga hangarin ko sa mundong hindi kaya tiisin na makita tayong dalawang hawak kamay
Sa umaga sa pag gising iniisip ko na kung anong mangyayari sa gabi
Sa mga gabing akoy pinapasok mo
Sa iyong kwarto kung saan niyayapos mo ang aking mga pisngi
Gamit ang kamay mong gumugulo sa buhok ko
Pero ayoko na
Ayoko nang maramdaman ang mga kamay mong gumugulo hindi lang sa buhok ko
Sapagkat hindi natatapos doon
Nagpapatuloy sa pagyapos mo ulit sa aking pisngi paghalik sa aking mga labi
Nagpapatuloy, tumutuloy ka nang hindi kumakatok
Pinapasok mo lang ako
Para labasan ka sa umaga
Para ika'y makaalis na
Ngunit mahal kung ako ngayo'y tatanungin mo
Kung ikaw ba ay papasukin ko
Tatanggapin kita ng buong buo
Pero mahal sana sa pag gising mo
Maisipan mong wag nang maglaho
At Tumira na lang ulit dito


Wag mo na akong hanapin
Hindi rin naman kita haharapin

Ikaw, ako, tayo ay liliparin
Ako sa'yo ay lilipas din

Tatakbo, tumatakbo
Hindi na matapos

Tatakbo, tumatakbo
Kailan matatapos

Ibabalik ko ang
Halik mo sa hangin

Ibabalik mo ako
Ulit sa langit


I set the alarm at 9:00AM
We have time, it's still 8:45AM
We have fifteen more minutes
To stay in this position
Perfectly placed at the center of this big bed
My face on your chest, your fingers on my hair
I embrace you in your sleep
Our hands slowly caressing our backs
Under the sheets
I can hear you breathing
We still have time
To make last night last
You sitting on the driver's seat
While I light two cigarettes
One for you, another for me
We still have time
To think about why we wanted to be here
Why we are here all of a sudden
After we drank the draft beer
And cried over spilled milk
We still have time
To think about the words we both let out
The feelings we spoke about
To figure out why we waited this long
To rebuild the bridges we've burnt
To tear the walls we've built
No, no, that was me
That's what you told me
That I let you in then out in the cold
Needing, wanting, loving from afar
Needing, wanting, loving from afar?
That wasn't you
No, no, that was me
We still have time
To cry for what has gone
To lie for what is here
We still have time
To lay here, in these sheets
And not think about what is waiting
For us out there
We still have time
To call you and I "us"
We still have time
Until we don't

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